My Journey with Christ

First off let me please explain that my story has not ended. I still struggle with life and I still have hard times but after years of believing I can definitely say that I do believe in God, and I know He’ll be with me every step of the way as my life continues. 

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I grew up in the church. I always felt like an outsider though. I didn’t really get the whole “Jesus is our savior” thing and I didn’t get what God really wanted for me. I was just there because my family made me. When I was around 12 I was old enough to go to camps. I started going to events and extra church activities and I became really curious. I started figuring out that there was more to going to church. There was more to being in a relationship with God. 
I started learning, and becoming friends with my church group, though I know that (even now) we won’t be best friends or know everything about each other. I just started figuring out that I had friends who would be there for me when I needed them.
Then came the hard times. I don’t want to go into any detail about it, but for two years I felt more alone than I ever had before. All my feelings were jammed inside as I was continually pushed aside and manipulated. It was bad. I started praying and asking for help from God, and asking why is was happening to me. At one point I prayed for a major change to be made in my life, and it happened.
I went to camp one summer, and I realized what God meant to me. He was my Father. He would always be there for me, and He LOVED me. He loved me. And I hadn’t felt that in so long. I felt loved by my youth group and by God and it was wonderful. The realization that God was there for me and loved me and had a plan for me was just the greatest thing that ever happened in my life. It was the best feeling ever. I was healed. I finally could recognize the love He was giving me. He sent His own son to die to save us from our sin. He loved us enough to make a gigantic sacrifice.
It took so long though to really reach that relationship with Him. I had to work and listen and pray and trust but it finally happened. 
I’m not saying that everything is fine and dandy in my life now. Its hard. It may be harder than it ever was. But now I know that I have God to rely on for help. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. {Philippians 4:13} Anything is possible through Him. I am still going through things, but He made me stronger. I haven’t cried in almost a month. I haven’t horrible bad thoughts about myself. I have struggled with a positive attitude, but God is helping me with that. He really is. 
That’s my story…

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If you ever need someone to pray for you, or you want to ask me about God or anything about this, don’t be afraid to visit my ask box, and if you aren’t comfortable with that, try calling up a youth leader at a local church and asking them. They really do want to help you. 

Listen, this may sound weird but I do love you. (Quoting Flyleaf) No matter who you are, what you believe, or what you’ve done God loves you. He does. Don’t ever forget that.